Not Exactly What I had Planned

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          For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:8-9

This is not how I thought it would be.  I was nineteen and hopelessly in love, and I imagined happily ever after.  Reality brought heartache, betrayal, and abuse.  Reality brought criminal activity, my husband’s arrest and imprisonment.  Reality brought divorce, something I’d sworn I’d never do.

This is not how I thought it would be.  When that perfect baby boy was born I imagined his future to be bright.  I just knew he was built for football!  I was certain we would have many happy years together.  Reality brought a wreck on an icy road.  Reality brought funeral plans for a five-year old. 

This is not how I thought it would be.  When my ex-husband got out of prison he looked so good.  He was clean and sober.  He had a job.  He did what he said he would do.  I married him again thinking this time would be different.  I believed family was supposed to be together.  I believed in second chances.  I believed he had learned from his mistakes.  Reality brought relapse.  Reality brought an increase in violence.  Reality brought his return to prison. 

This is not how I thought it would be.  When my miracle baby girl was born I thought she was perfect.  She was happy and giggly and athletic.  Her future was bright!  Reality brought diagnosis of a movement disorder.  Reality brought brain surgery and tons of medication.  Reality brings continuing struggles to pursue her dreams. Reality brings things mom can't fix. Her future is bright despite her struggles. She is a young woman of tremendous faith and strength. 

This is not how I thought it would be.  When my beautiful younger daughter was born I noticed her striking dark hair and eyes.  I knew there were great things in store for her.  Reality has brought struggles with self-image.  She is blind to her own beauty.  Reality has brought physical and emotional struggles.  Reality has stolen her “normal”.  Her future is bright; can I help her to see it? 

God says his ways are higher than ours.  He is working in all these events that didn’t turn out the way I thought they would.  I look to his word for reassurance.  I read stories of people who must have thought, “This is not how I thought it would be.” 

Jeremiah's contemporaries had been carried into exile.  I'm sure that is not what they had planned. God's promise to them spoken through Jeremiah gives me hope: 
 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you  hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11
The reality of life is often different from our plans.  We can trust in God's plan and His timetable!

 

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